Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Eventually...

Eventually you start to say...

"Tis better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Update...

6/19/07

It's been 5 days since I spoke to Her. I quit, cold-turkey, and it's extremely difficult going through life without Her. We both made this decision; she won't leave her family and I refuse to leave mine. I wish this wasn't so hard but I still miss Her and I love Her.

The last seven months were the best in my life. It was my opportunity to have the college experience I never had. It was amazing. The next two years, I aim to tap the potential of how much I can learn as a banker.

The End. A Beginning...

6/14/07

It's Thursday of finals week in Spring quarter. Girls are wearing summer dresses and despite the heat, there's a cooling breeze. Mike and I are going out tonight to party. It feels like this may be the first time we actually party like college kids. He has no MCAT to study for, and I have no job interviews. While I'm very excited about tonight, it feels like I'm unsuccessfully chasing a forgotten dream. The kids have gone home, the party is over and finally I'm ready for the life I chose to avoid.

I entered college striving to be better than everyone else. I didn't party, I didn't drink, and I aced my classes. I'm graduating with a 3.9 GPA, a job, and a few life partners. With these accolades, many would say, "mission accomplished." I'd say I barely tapped the potential. While Heather and Mike are both life-long friends, I didn't meet enough people. Most of my time was spent sober in my dormroom trying to improve my mind. From these past few months I've realized there's just as much to learn from life experiences as there's from books. She once said, "I'm a better man," for having not been irresponsible during my college years. I hope She's right.

While I can't redo these last four years, I can strive for more life experiences in the future. While investment banking isn't known for easy hours, my free time spent away from studying the CFA should be dedicated towards enriching my life memories: Explore Los Angeles, date, have fun and make more friendships. My dreams of family, and material comfort will be even richer if I pursue these goals.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Lord's Struggle...

Chapter 14, verse 2

"If only we had died in the land of Egypt, or if only we had died in this Wilderness! Why is the Lord bringing us to this Land to die by the sword? Our wives and young children will be taken captive! Is it not better for us to return to Egypt?"
So they said to one another, "Let us appoint a leader and let us return to Egypt!"

Verse 11

Hashem said to Moses, "How long will this people provoke Me, and how long will they not have faith in Me, despite all the signs that I have performed in their midst? I will smite them with the plague and annihilate them, and I shall make you a greater and more powerful nation than they."

Moses said to Hashem, "Then Egypt, from whose midst You brought up this nation with Your power, will hear, and they will say about the inhabitants of this Land, 'They have heard that You, Hashem, are in the midst of this people -- that You, Hashem, appeared eye to eye and Your cloud stands over them, and that in a pillar of cloud You go before them by day and in a pillar of fire at night -- yet You killed this people like a single man!' Then the natios that heard of Your fame will say, 'Because Hashem lacked the ability to bring this people to the Land that He had sworn to give them, He slaughtered them in the Wilderness.' And now -- may the strength of my Lord be magnified as You have spoken, saying, 'Hashem, Slow to Anger, Abundant in Kindness, Forgiver of Iniquity and Willful Sin, and Who cleanses -- but does not cleanse completely, recalling the iniquity of parents upon children to the third and fourth generations' -- forgive now the iniquity of this people according to the greatness of Your kindness and as You have forgiven this people from Egypt until now."


...

Thoughts

In this portion The Lord is upset with a very fickle people. Despite perpetual miracles, the people lack faith. The Lord has two polar choices. At first, in a fit of rage, the inclination is to destroy the people and restart with Moses. The other choice is to react, "slow to anger" and forgive the people. While in the end a compromise is chosen, as the people are simultaneously forgiven to live, and condemned to wandering, what can we learn from the Lord's Struggle?

Is Holiness achieved through forgiveness? Is Holiness achieved through choosing the harder, and often emotionally constrained path? Perhaps curbing our emotions brings us one step closer to a righteous life. We were created in the Lord's Image, and we too must struggle with our emotions.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Break-Up...

On June 3rd, at 1:45 PM, we finally broke up.

The last seven months were beautiful. Truly among my happiest. It's a funny thing what people do for religion...

Now, with a seemingly insurmountable temptation to share word of both love and sorrow, I must remember what drove us to our separation: an impasse. I believe in raising a Jewish family, and she is not willing to convert.

Coping...

I read this in "The Templeton Plan," back in either late middle or early high school. On page 51:

Author Jacob Korsaren gave this advice: "If you are poor, work. If you are burdened with seemingly unfair responsibilities, work. If you are happy, work. Idleness gives room for doubts and fear. If disappointments come, keep right on working. If sorrow overwhelms you and loved ones seem not true, work. If health is threatened, work. When faith falters and reason fails, just work. When dreams are shattered and hope seems dead, work. Work as if your life were in peril. It really is. No matter what ails you, work. Work faithfully -- work with faith. Work is the greatest remedy available for both mental and physical afflictions."

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Munger

Commencement Address at USC law. Starts approx min 43 and may only work on internet explorer...


http://lawmedia.usc.edu/LawMedia4/Viewer/Viewers/Viewer320TR.aspx?mode=Default&peid=9fbec034-0c5a-45f7-bde5-c65e3caef827&pid=4f6df1cd-b2eb-4ddf-9890-9c2846944cf5&playerType=WM7

Some Mungerisms:

"Wisdom acquisition is a moral duty."

"Assandoity"- To paraphrase, it means to sit on your ass and just do it.