Monday, December 29, 2008

Favorite Things from 2008

The thoughts of others,
were light and fleeting,
of lovers meeting,
or luck or fame,
but mine were of trouble,
and mine were steady,
so I was ready,
when trouble came - Eugene Stead

Two phrases from Dark Knight:

"The night is darkest just before the dawn."

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain"

Andrew Marlowe on rules for employment:

1.) Are you competent?
2.) Are you pleasant?
3.) Do you make my day shorter?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Who Put This...

The last couple of posts were a little more serious than usual so I decided to lighten it up a bit:

Friday, October 10, 2008

You lived through 2008?

If you had asked me two years ago what the economy would look like if Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG, Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, Merrill Lynch, Washington Mutual, and Wachovia had all disintegrated through implosion or fire sale, I would have likely said that the country would be reliving a great depression.

These are uncertain times, fear of a global meltdown is violently shaking investors of all shapes, sizes and asset classes. Unemployment is 6% today and possibly 8%+ within the next 12 months.

Death is Not the Enemy

By Joshua Loth Liebman

I often feel that death is not the enemy of life, but its friend; for it is the knowledge that our years are limited which makes them so precious. It is the truth that time is but lent to us which makes us, at our best, look upon our years as a trust handed into our temporary keeping. We are like children privileged to spend a day in a great park, a park filled with many gardens and playgrounds, and azure-tinted lakes and boats sailing upon tranquil waves.

True, the day allotted to each of us is not the same in length, in light, in
beauty. Some children of earth are privileged to spend a long and sunlit day in the garden of the earth. For others, the day is shorter, cloudier, and dusk descends more quickly as in a winter’s tale.

But whether our life is a long summery day or a shorter wintry afternoon, we know that inevitably there are storms and squalls which overcast even the bluest heaven and there are sunlit rays which pierce the darkest autumn sky. The day we are privileged to spend in the great park of life is not the same for all human beings; but there is enough beauty and joy and gaiety in the hours, if we but treasure them.

Then for each of us the moment comes when the great nurse, death, takes us by the hand and quietly says, “It is time to go home. Night is coming. It is your bedtime, child of earth. Come, you’re tired. Lie down at last in the quiet nursery of nature and sleep. Sleep well. The day is gone. Stars shine in the canopy of eternity.”

Repairer of Fallen Walls

Isaiah 58:5-58:12

5 Is such the fast I desire,
A day for men to starve their bodies?
Is it bowing the head like a bulrush
And lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Do you call that a fast,
A day when the Lord is favorable?
6 No, this is the fast I desire:
To unlock the fetters of wickedness,
And untie the cords of the yoke
To let the oppressed go free;
To break off every yoke.
7 It is to share your bread with the hungry,
And to take the wretched poor into your home;
When you see the naked, to clothe him,
And not to ignore your own kin.
8 Then shall your light burst through like the dawn
And your healing spring up quickly;
Your Vindicator shall march before you,
The Presence of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then, when you call, the Lord will answer;
When you cry, He will say: Here I am.
If you banish the yoke from your midst,
The menacing hand and evil speech,
10 And you offer your compassion to the hungry
And satisfy the famished creature —
The shall your light shine in darkness,
And your gloom shall be like noonday.
11 The Lord will guide you always;
He will slake your thirst in parched places
And give strength to your bones.
You shall be like a watered garden,
Like a spring whose waters do not fail.
12 Men from your midst shall rebuild ancient ruins,
you shall restore foundations laid long ago.
And you shall be called
"Repairer of fallen walls,
Restorer of lanes for habitation."

Monday, August 11, 2008

The Downside to the Top of the World

The downside to living at the top of the world is that once you leave, it's not easy getting back.

For the longest time I thought I had met "the Girl" for me, Diana. On our secret trip to New York I put a grass "wedding" ring on her finger with every intent of making it real someday. Wiser than I, she told me that it wouldn't solve the inevitable breakup resulting from our conflicting religions.

The first Friday of next month will mark the one year that Jess and I have been together. I love her and despite that I'm occasionally haunted with past stories, she loves me without reservation. This week I've been invited to join her family to visit their summer home and vacation spots on the east coast. It should be a fun trip where I learn both about her family, the dynamics of our relationship, and my own emotions. It's will also be the only vacation I've taken since my my trip with Diana.

Undoubtedly this vacation will be very different than the last, both in place and in spirit. I'm not the boy I used to be. I'm more cautious. I'm less outspoken about my dreams. Failed love hurt and still hurts.

While I can pontificate all night long about my self-imagined, new found, maturity, mostly, I'm just excited to be back in the game of life, its adventures, misadventures, ups, downs, and returns.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Off by a Little

As you can see from the last post, I was off with both time (2 mos) and severity (Only 5.8).

List of new experiences:

1.) Went to my first movie premiere (Mummy 3)

2.) Was promoted for the first time.

3.) Was invited by the President to join him for drinks

4.) First time I ever drank socially with a group of people that were all millionaires (Myself excluded. A problem I'm trying to rectify)

5.) I pitched my first LBO idea.

6.) I listened to my first live conference call.

7.) Someone bought 10,000 shares directly based on my stock recommendation

More experiences to come. Just need more time to write them down.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Maybe I'm just crazy

If there is a force... I feel it. We are due for a substantial earthquake soon.

Sunday, April 20, 2008


It's been way to long since I last posted, but it's a reflection of how busy life has been. As an example, I'm waking up in 5 hours from now for work, but I felt compelled to write a few notes before going to bed.

1.) Life has been very busy and very full. I've had a lot of new firsts however I haven't had the time to digest them. (e.g. flying first class, and also the first time a financial times reporter called me to get the inside scoop on a story)

2.) I pitched a stock to the head of the Company, purely out of my own volition and free time, and subsequently it went up nearly 40% in less than three months. I hope that this may have impressed them as I'd very much like to be considered for a job transfer to the asset management division.

3.) I just had a wonder Passover Sedar with my Family and Jess. Jess and I got back together shortly after breaking up because I realized that she was very healthy for me, and that while I still miss Diana, given religion and geography, it just wouldn't work out right now. So while I miss her, you have to work with reality. While she took the quote down from her profile, "Keep moving forward." - W. Disney

4.) On that note, I look at Diana's facebook about once a month to see a.) if she's still single (I'm not sure if it's curiosity or masochism) b.) to see what she's still up to. I sincerely miss the conversations that entailed on our walks together, from finance to abstract mathematical theory. I'd like to surprise her by driving down to her school and meeting one day for coffee, but I hardly have the time of day for my own family let alone a 1-2 hour drive. Plus, I don't think Jess would be too happy with me. I would love to see her in her element teaching algebra! I'm tremendously proud.

5.) Things with Jess are very nice. She's a sweet heart and strives to be a successful artist on the side. I respect her initiative a great deal and she picks me up with an unrealistically optimistic spirit at times. From my limited introspection I've noticed that emotions towards her depend on my work load. If I'm working 80+ hours per week, I find that I'm not as attached to her, and I'm not as lovey dovy. However if it's under 80, I feel great and I love her like a boyfriend should. It's bizarre and it scares me that I go from boyfriend to stranger and back on what seems like a monthly basis purely based on the pressures at work and my inability to compartmentalize.

6.) Jonathan is going back to NY after visiting for Passover for the last few days and I'm truly sad that he's leaving. Given the workload, I had zero availability to spend any time with him outside of the dinner's with my entire family. While I'm not spending enough time with the people I love, I keep reminding myself that it's for a long-term goal. I wish I had someone to remind me at times, as Jess is a huge advocate of finding another job with better hours. It's hard to leave a firm that is benefiting from the ongoing recession as literally thousands of investment bankers are being laid off.

7.) Thank you Lord, for giving me such a rich life with caring family and friends.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

And Sometimes You Just Need to Cry

I broke up with Jess today. I wasn't being true to her or myself. The worst part was that it's her birthday. I don't think I've ever felt like such a lousy person - but I'm also relieved.

Dear Lord, help me find myself.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Sometimes you just need to laugh...

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Central Park

How do you tell someone that your biggest regret is not proposing to them when you had the chance? Or do you not say anything at all?