Sunday, April 20, 2008


It's been way to long since I last posted, but it's a reflection of how busy life has been. As an example, I'm waking up in 5 hours from now for work, but I felt compelled to write a few notes before going to bed.

1.) Life has been very busy and very full. I've had a lot of new firsts however I haven't had the time to digest them. (e.g. flying first class, and also the first time a financial times reporter called me to get the inside scoop on a story)

2.) I pitched a stock to the head of the Company, purely out of my own volition and free time, and subsequently it went up nearly 40% in less than three months. I hope that this may have impressed them as I'd very much like to be considered for a job transfer to the asset management division.

3.) I just had a wonder Passover Sedar with my Family and Jess. Jess and I got back together shortly after breaking up because I realized that she was very healthy for me, and that while I still miss Diana, given religion and geography, it just wouldn't work out right now. So while I miss her, you have to work with reality. While she took the quote down from her profile, "Keep moving forward." - W. Disney

4.) On that note, I look at Diana's facebook about once a month to see a.) if she's still single (I'm not sure if it's curiosity or masochism) b.) to see what she's still up to. I sincerely miss the conversations that entailed on our walks together, from finance to abstract mathematical theory. I'd like to surprise her by driving down to her school and meeting one day for coffee, but I hardly have the time of day for my own family let alone a 1-2 hour drive. Plus, I don't think Jess would be too happy with me. I would love to see her in her element teaching algebra! I'm tremendously proud.

5.) Things with Jess are very nice. She's a sweet heart and strives to be a successful artist on the side. I respect her initiative a great deal and she picks me up with an unrealistically optimistic spirit at times. From my limited introspection I've noticed that emotions towards her depend on my work load. If I'm working 80+ hours per week, I find that I'm not as attached to her, and I'm not as lovey dovy. However if it's under 80, I feel great and I love her like a boyfriend should. It's bizarre and it scares me that I go from boyfriend to stranger and back on what seems like a monthly basis purely based on the pressures at work and my inability to compartmentalize.

6.) Jonathan is going back to NY after visiting for Passover for the last few days and I'm truly sad that he's leaving. Given the workload, I had zero availability to spend any time with him outside of the dinner's with my entire family. While I'm not spending enough time with the people I love, I keep reminding myself that it's for a long-term goal. I wish I had someone to remind me at times, as Jess is a huge advocate of finding another job with better hours. It's hard to leave a firm that is benefiting from the ongoing recession as literally thousands of investment bankers are being laid off.

7.) Thank you Lord, for giving me such a rich life with caring family and friends.


banrock said...

Glad to see this update. I'm really happy to see that you're doing well.

Your comment about your personal life's inverse relationship with your billable hours is a good one to recognize.

1. It's no small wonder why so many doctors, lawyers, bankers, and politicians are divorced.

2. I often wonder whether our professions attract bastards or that work demands simply turn us into bastards (I'm not sure it makes that much of a difference, I guess).

3. And, if you think of billable hours at one end of the scale and "family goodwill" at the other, it's kind of a no-brainer where we should make our investment. However, for some reason, so many of us keep putting into the other end, instead.

Diana said...

It's only natural for us to be logging the massive man-hours now since we just graduated. The job market is tough. My family and friends are suffering, too. Long term goals often require short term sacrifices.

Just do your best: attempt to shrink the emotional swings and make your best efforts to put the important people first. Jess is being great by letting your know her views and her need for more of your time/attention-- tell her what you need from her (aka support while you follow your passion).

Sounds like things are good. I'm proud of you, too. Hang in there...