Thursday, August 12, 2010

Marriage, Babies and a New Job

Jeezus our wedding is stressful and I'm not evening planning it. While Jess and I wanted to have a small, do-it-ourself wedding, Her Mother, who I love and adore, insisted on throwing an extravaganza. Up to 200 people and thousands of dollars for cakes, flowers, dresses, invitations, and food. Jeez, I don't even know 200 people.

It doesn't help that Her Mother doesn't have time to throw a wedding so the bulk of the responsibilities fall on Jess. And so Jess gets stressed out because she's building our home while also developing her graphic design business. So as more wedding work flows her way, a bottleneck occurs with current projects. Right now, for example, our kitchen is partially painted while the contents of the kitchen have been spread throughout the apartment. That said,the invitations got out this week. The kitchen has been and will be like this for the rest of the month which is partially a result of a recent vacation we took and one we are about to take.

There's also the human element. My parents, who's wedding consisted of less than 10 people and walking out of a dim sum restaurant, see the hoopla for the wedding and feel the pressures of keeping up with the "Joneses" to step it up for the rehearsal dinner. Now instead of subway sandwiches at the beach (something Jess and I advocated) where renting out a restaurant for the evening.

But these stressers are nothing compared to what Jess is experiencing. Her parents are divorced and some parts of the wedding have seemed like walking a mine field. The bio-dad wasn't there for Jess as a teenager, but Jess still wants to make him feel welcomed without offending her step-dad who is one of the coolest persons I've ever met. So bio-dad invited, but the mom walks Jess down the isle. Father daughter dance probably goes to step-dad, but not sure how that's going to work. I really don't care if bio-dad is offended by Jess' decision, he doesn't have to come if he can't behave like an adult.

In the grand scheme of things, these are all very minor frustrations from what they could have been.

While I recognize that it's slightly sacrilegious to discuss ex-girlfriends when thinking about wedding plans, I don't think I could have handled in-laws that would view me as damning their daughter to hell on top of everything else. I resented Diana for a long time for the ease in which she ended our relationship over religion, but in retrospect, she made the right decision for both of us, even if I wasn't emotionally prepared to accept it.


Wow, there's a lot going on right now and I even have the month off.

I'm getting married. My brother is getting married and Jess' brother is getting married. In all honesty it's kind of annoying how everyone is getting married at the same time as it feels like too much is being pact into one short period. I guess that just how life shakes out sometimes.

In the new additions to the family section, my asian-brother-from-another-mother is having his first baby and my private equity mentor is having his first baby. So exciting. I wonder what parenting thoughts are going through their heads? I wonder when Jess and I are going to have kids? It always makes me so excited when good people have children. It's like the inversion of the abortion / crime correlation chapter in Freakonomics.

Did I forget anyone?

My old college roomate finished his first year in med school and is going to move in with his girlfriend. Another friend from middle school and high school, Chris, just finished his second year at UCLA law and was offered a job at a law firm nearby. I'm actually proud of Chris. I've told him since middle school that he was a smart but lazy bastard and just needed to apply himself. After barely passing highschool he finally got the drift and is rocking out in law school. It really is amazing watching good people develop / grow up.

Anything else?

I quit my job last month after a terrible bonus. They gave me a 75% haircut from what I expected following a terrible 2nd quarter for the firm. Luckily I had a backup job already lined up with a hedge fund in Los Angeles. David Mamet once wrote, "I never tie my shoes without a backup plan." People laugh when I quote Mamet, but I believe him. I quit within 5 minutes of my bonus funding the next day.

While it doesn't hurt that the pay is 30-50% better, I'm more excited about the prospect that this new venture will be more inline with the life goal of spending my working day buying cheap stocks.

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